FINALLY!

Olivia & James are actually doing it.

(Our parents are finally getting their guest rooms back)

June 20, 2026

I'll be there for the free food How did this happen?
The Origin Story

How It Happened

The First Date

The First Date

James tried to impress Olivia by pretending he loved kale smoothies. Olivia tried to impress James by pretending she understood how cryptocurrency works. They were both lying, but the lies were so compatible they decided to keep going.

🥬 + 📉 = ❤️
The Proposal

The Proposal

James got down on one knee. Olivia thought he was tying his shoe. After five minutes of awkward silence, she realized he was holding a ring. She said "Seriously?" which James chose to interpret as a "Yes."

*Elias still hasn't tied that shoe.

The Victims

🤵‍♂️
The Groom

James

The One Who Lost the Argument

"I'm just here so I don't get fined. Also, Clara said I have to be here or she'd change the Netflix password."

👰‍♀️
The Bride

Olivia

The Mastermind

"I've been planning this since I was five. Elias was just the first one who didn't run away when I showed him the spreadsheet."

🍕

"Marriage is just a fancy way of saying 'I'll let you pick the movie if you let me have the last slice of pizza' forever."

- Ancient Proverb (Probably)

The Chaos

A timeline of your impending doom

15:00

The Boring Part

We say some words, you pretend to cry. Tissues provided (for a small fee). No snoring allowed during the vows.

Iglesia de San Juan

⛪️
18:00

Cocktail Hour

You stand around looking fancy while we take 500 photos. Open bar starts here — pace yourself (or don't, we won't judge).

Finca La Alameda

🥂
20:00

The Real Reason You Came

Food, drinks, and Elias's dad telling embarrassing stories that we definitely didn't approve for the script.

Finca La Alameda

🍗
📝

RSVP or Face the Consequences

If you don't respond, we'll assume you're bringing a plus-one who eats a lot and we'll charge you for it. No pressure.

🎁

The Bribes

We already have a toaster. In fact, we have three. What we really need is your love — and maybe some help funding this next chapter.

✈️

Honeymoon Fund

Help us escape to a place where nobody knows our names.

$3,000 goal
Contribute
🏠

House Fund

Help us buy a house with a room just for our precious LEGO collection.

$5,000 goal
Contribute
🍕

Pizza Fund

For the many arguments we will have about what to eat for dinner.

$1,000 goal
Contribute

We're Also Registered At

Amazon Target Crate & Barrel

Where to Find Us

Follow the sound of nervous laughter and clinking glasses.

Time Until Impact

000 Days
00 Hours
00 Mins
00 Secs

Your Excuses

Do I have to wear pants?

Yes. Unless you're under the age of 3, in which case, do your thing. But for everyone else, pants are mandatory. (Kilts are also acceptable, but only if you have the legs for it).

Can I bring my cat?

Only if your cat can dance the Macarena and owns its own tuxedo. Otherwise, Whiskers stays home. We don't want any cat fights on the dance floor.

What if I'm late?

You'll be forced to sit in the front row and James's mom will stare at you for the entire ceremony. You've been warned. We start on time — or whenever Olivia finishes her third coffee.

Is there an open bar?

Yes, but only until James's uncle starts singing karaoke. After that, it's cash only — to encourage him to stop.